I don't eat at dinner. I think I swiped some fries from someone's plate. I drank three of the sorts of cocktails I always order, those elderflower-heavy gin and cucumber potions you can find for twenty bucks at every chi-chi cocktail bar on the planet. I get very quiet, and very drunk.

Nobody really noticed. Nobody really cared. This was the circle of friends that included the rapist - and he is there, a few seats down from me. A tactical error, doomed from the start. 

We wrap up dinner and someone, at the very least, talks me out of walking the several miles home in my three inch heels in weather that is deeply below freezing. I get bundled into an Uber and make my way back to my studio apartment. I have plans: Xanax, leftover painkillers from an ER visit, a plastic bottle of gin buried in my freezer.

And Dragon Age 2.

I've been romancing Anders, the blonde mage from the previous game's DLC. The time since I saw him in Origins hasn't been kind. The last time I saw him he was a scoundrel, sharp-tongued and quick to defend the things he cared about. He'd joined forces with my old character. They'd been a team. He'd been a friend. 

Now he's possessed by a ghost, can't control himself. He is on a downhill slide towards being full-blown fucking crazy. 

He also runs a free clinic in the city slums. He loves cats. He's gentle with my character when she shies away from flirtation. The others don't like him much, but I do. I bring him along a lot when I play. I don't want to give up on him. I think that we can still be a team. Maybe we can be more. 

It's New Year's Eve 2015. I at least want to see how that turns out. 

[Bottoms up.][Kiss]